I don’t like that I turn up my nose at criticism, that I have no self control around cake and ice cream (no literally, none), and rush through things often overlooking the details. But the one thing that really bugs me about myself (did I really just say that?) is that I have to be reminded far too often of what I’m working toward in life, what I’m passionate about, and what I’m good at. It’s like if someone (usually my husband) doesn’t come along and hit my ‘reset’ button, I go straight into couch potato mode perceiving myself as incapable of doing anything right and consequently never leaving my pajamas and moping audibly most hours of the day. Seriously, what is wrong with me? OK, I know. This is awkward and I’m being too hard on myself. It’s like you’re sitting in on my own personal roast. But I’m getting somewhere, because one of the things that I do like about myself is my ability to look inward, see yucky stuff and want to purge it and make a change. Sure, that may be an ability that many people have, but when you actually do it it feels so good that you just have to share about it to remind yourself and maybe others of how healthy the act is. How healthy it is to say I don’t have it all right, I mess up a lot, and I am the epitome of imperfection. But, but-tutut, I can do some things right and others really well. I just have to remember that from time to time or else Mopey McPj Pants re-emerges and sucks the life and creativity right out of me. Egh, I hate that chick; so inconsiderate. Mmmm, what does that have to do with scones? A lot really. Because these scones came to be the day after I had one of these mini realizations. They, in themselves, represent my cognitive ability to turn on the light bulb when things are getting dim. And, not to mention, they’re pretty dang tasty, too. This all ties in (sort of) with a little quote I jotted down earlier this week while reading Augustine’s Confessions (yes, this is my idea of light reading). Even though it’s taken a bit out of context, it still applies here. That even if no one notices what you’re doing you should focus on finding joy in the things you love to do. For me, this week, it was making these scones no matter how feeble an accomplishment they may be. Because they were something – a delicious, delicious something – of which I am very proud of.
